Another angry drawing
Thursday, November 17, 2011 at 7:58PM I was in such a different mood when I began this drawing than where I ended up. I sat down on our living room sofa downstairs, where I seldom draw. Brought my pair of Howell/Roan 283 pipes in my little zippered leather case, set them on the credenza next to me, and started a careful contour drawing. But I couldn't get comfortable, and as I'd already been sitting most of the day in front of my computer modeling a project in AutoCAD, I ran out of patience very quickly. Everything started to irritate me - the shiny indigo paint on the pencil shanks makes it difficult to see what color the leads are, they're round and tend to roll around too easily, they started sliding out of my left hand because I had too many clenched in my fist. Fortunately, I can get away with having my quiet little tantrums on paper. Delicate hatching and subtle tonal gradients get savaged by a rough hand. Fine details are swallowed up by harsh, slashing marks. But nothing gets broken and nobody gets hurt. I didn't even swear. Not very much anyhow, and I kept it to muttering under my breath. The truth is, I'm getting less and less interested in fine detail and much more interested in the tension between raw emotional energy and keeping just enough control to manipulate it into something that has validity as art. And hey, if nothing else, you get to be entertained by another angry drawing!
pair of A Passion for Pipes 2011 Pipe of the Year specimens by Jack Howell, 11 9/16 x 8 1/4, Derwent Inktense pencils
Reader Comments (3)
Something is working. I would say that this is the best drawing you've posted, but what do I know? I know it's my favorite.
I poured myself a second shot of mescal and looked back on September - November drawings. Looked at them on my iPhone, which, because it loads slowly, isn't ideal. It seems to have begun in early September, in fits and starts. This drawing, though, could herald a second transition.
Nice, Scott. Again, thanks for sharing.
I've been feeling that way, and seeing it in the results of my sessions. Fits and starts, yes, that aptly describes it. The comments that go along with the posted drawings are a little messy sometimes, like a drunk who has lost his sense of what's appropriate to say and when to shut up. At the same time, this is something of an artist's journal, and to that end the authenticity of what I write matters to me as much as the integrity of the work, even though it reveals things about my psyche that most people are unwilling to put out in the public realm. It has probably lost me some readers. I know that some of it makes some people uncomfortable, and I fret sometimes that it comes across as narcissism. 'What, does he think nobody else ever gets angry or depressed?' But people don't want to discuss these emotions openly, because we feel that they make us vulnerable, even to others who experience the same thing. But you know, if I'm going to share it, I'm going to be honest about where this work is coming from. I'm glad you are following the blog, and that you are often moved to comment.
Sorry, Scott, I'm a different Toby. But if he's lurking, maybe this exchange will nudge RIToby to comment. Hope he does.